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Heartless Joe
I was walking down the street. All was calm. Then I saw my buds driving down the road. I asked them, "Hey! Where you guys going?" "To pick you up for the party!" They replied. "Oh yeah! The party!" I completely forgot about the party we were having tonight! "C'mon lets go!" We drove to my friend, Shaun's, house. It was a large black and grey house with Christmas lights up, even though it was summer. We had a couple drinks and did everything you'd do at a party, but better. That was when my other friend, Allen, told me to have this one type of wine. I drank it and a few seconds later, I fell to the ground unconscious. I woke up in a room with little light, strapped to a table. I felt weird, as if it wasn't objectively real. It felt like a dream. One of those that felt real. It was moments later when I noticed I was in Shaun's basement! "Where am I?" I asked. I heard the voice of Allen say, "You're in my domain." I was getting creeped out. "What do you mean?" I shouted. "Well, I'm studying the human body so I thought you could help." Those words meant hell to me. I struggled to get out but then I heard Allen's voice again, saying, "Stop moving! Your gonna make me miss!" "You can't do this!" I yelled. "Why not? It'll help me learn all the internal organs of a human!" He raised his hand holding a knife. His arm swung downward and plunged into my chest where my heart was. The pain was unbearable! He stuck his hand inside my chest and yanked out my heart. I laughed. Only god knows why, but I laughed really hard. Allen was creeped out and he dropped the heart. It is inexplicable how I was still alive. Allen ran away as fast as possible. I.... Feel weird right now. 02:05, May 30, 2013 (UTC)02:05, May 30, 2013 (UTC)02:05, May 30, 2013 (UTC)02:05, May 30, 2013 (UTC)02:05, May 30, 2013 (UTC)~~ Hello, this is Allen. So about the heart incident. I guess I was a little drunk. Well... Really drunk. I've been taking medical classes as I'm training to be a doctor/surgeon so that knowledge I have of surgery must've gone to my head. That's why I seemed crazy at the heart removal. Honestly, though, I have no idea how that wine made him collapse. I found Joe's laptop and he was writing all the stuff above in some kind of diary file, so that's how I'm continuing this. So.... After I removed his heart, he laughed maniacally. Of course, who wouldn't run away from that. I felt terrible after the incident, but was glad he was still alive... Sort of. He ran into the kitchen about 35 minutes ago and found some metal toothpicks. This is what disturbed me. He put the toothpicks in a vertical position, separating his eyelids. I nearly threw up of how disgusting it was. The next part just scared me. He went to my knife drawer and pulled out the sharpest knife I had. Then he saw a small ball, probably belonging to Shaun's little sister. The ball was blue and had a smiley face on it. The ball was firmly grasped in his hand, and with a swift motion, he stuck it in his chest where his heart used to be. He had noticed I was watching him, so he started chasing me, chanting "Give me your heart to keep, for I shall have your soul to reap!" I kept running, but this guy never gets tired! Eventually I lost him and brought his laptop into my house. It was hard as hell to run with that thing. There was pounding on my door, but I knew not to answer it as that would be moronic. The hard pounding eventually stopped, and I went outside to check if he was still there, but with great luck he wasn't, but what was there was inexplicably terrifying. It was a heart shape, with a smiley face drawn inside of it, scrawled in blood all over the sidewalk. So now, here I am. If you ever see this man, please, don't go near him and run away as fast as possible. Category:Deletion Log Refugees Category:Pasta Trying To Be Good When It Sucks Enough To Be A Troll Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck